I stepped into a social media argument the other day, immediately regretted it, but had a strong enough reaction to the experience that I felt compelled afterward to break a long blog silence and delve deeper into the issue. Hence this post.
The original thread began with someone who went to my high school. This person posted a photo of themselves standing with a MAGA-backed political candidate, who, frankly, has little hope of winning. But this person from my high school was all in for the candidate, because said candidate is a strong supporter of Israel, is Jewish, and, most important, is running against someone who supported Zohran Mamdani’s campaign for Mayor of New York City. The original poster made a point of claiming that Mamdani is anti-Semitic, and that anyone who supports him must be anti-Semitic as well. Indeed, this person went on, the entire Democratic party has become anti-Semitic, which caused them to leave the party and become a Republican.
I responded to the post by saying that, “Recognizing the crimes against humanity Israel has committed does not make someone anti-Semitic.” I pointed out that I was Jewish myself, and that holding such views certainly didn’t make me anti-Semitic. And I pointed out that supporting a MAGA candidate, with all the baggage that label carried, definitely was not the answer.
In response, the original poster wondered how I could turn a blind eye to violence against Jews all over the world, effectively accusing me of not acknowledging that there is, in fact, anti-Semitism in the world. Of course, nowhere in my comment did I deny the existence of violence and hatred directed at Jews. But the entire thread, and in particular the original poster’s responses to any who disagreed with them, was filled with MAGA-esque paranoia, self-righteousness, and distortions of reality.
In the time since October 7, 2023, I have largely kept my thoughts on the Middle East to myself. Being a Jew in the United States has never been easy, and since 2016, it has become ever more difficult. Anti-Semitism is absolutely on the rise, and I will get to the root causes of that. But the start of the October 7th war, and especially Israel’s actions in Gaza, have exposed deep divisions within the American Jewish community. Families have been torn apart – I’ve seen it. Friendships have been sundered. I’ve seen that, too. I kept quiet because I wished to avoid just the sort of online confrontation I anticipated and experienced when I finally did dip my toe into an internet discussion.
When I was a kid, I was taught to revere Israel as a beacon for American Jews. Created in response to the Holocaust, the country was an agricultural marvel carved out of the desert, a testament to resilience, ingenuity, and perseverance. It was a tiny, shining democracy, surrounded by larger foes with whom it fought several wars. And in each of those conflicts Israel prevailed, driving back invasions in 1948, 1967, and 1973 and, in the ’67 and ’73 conflicts, actually expanding its territory. And therein lay the roots of its more recent political troubles. Because as Israel held these captured lands, morphing into an imperial power, it lost its standing as a courageous underdog and came to be seen instead as a regional bully.
As I matured, learned more about history, was exposed to differing points of view, I came to understand that the version of events on which I’d been raised, excluded certain facts and points of view. Did displaced European Jews need a new home after World War II? Certainly. But land ownership in this case was treated as a zero-sum game. In order for Palestine to become Israel, those living in that tiny sliver of land along the Mediterranean had to be displaced. To be clear, I am not an expert in Israeli or Middle Eastern history, and this is not meant to be a comprehensive account of Israel’s evolution. This is simply a retelling what I have known and felt and believed over the course of my life.
And none of it could have prepared me for what Israel has become under the government of Benjamin Netanyahu.
As I have mentioned a couple of times, anti-Semitism has been on the rise for some time now, here in the United States and across the world. There can be no denying this. But blaming this rise on critics of Israel is ludicrous. And one of the many ironies of my high school acquaintance’s online rant is that this person and their allies seek to counter the tide of anti-Jewish sentiment by voting Republican. They seem to have forgotten that, at least in the United States, the primary driver of anti-Semitism has been the resurgence of White Supremacist and Christian Nationalist movements since 2016. Domestic terrorist groups like the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and Three Percenters (among so, so many others) have thrived under the Trump Administration and played huge roles in violent incidents in Charlottesville, Kenosha, and Washington, D.C. Indeed, this Administration has cultivated relationships with these groups, and somehow conservative Jews in the country accept this, while casting aspersions on those on the left who would fight such hate groups with all their energy.
Another irony: My primary objection to the social media post that prompted all of this is that the original poster conflates opposition to the Israeli government with anti-Semitism. If one opposes Netanyahu’s warmongering (not to mention his corruption and his sycophantic relationship with Donald Trump) that person is anti-Semitic. If one speaks, as I did, of the crimes against humanity committed by the Israeli security forces under Bibi’s leadership, that person is anti-Semitic. If one dares compare the systematic assault on innocents in Gaza to a genocide, that person is most definitely anti-Semitic. (For the record, I don’t know if I believe what’s happening in Gaza is genocide. I am not well-enough versed in the nuances of the term to be certain. But I have no doubt that Benjamin Netanyahu has committed war crimes and crimes against humanity.) So, according to my high school acquaintance, people like Zohran Mamdani, and people like me, who oppose Israel’s war in Gaza, are, by definition, anti-Semitic.
But at the same time, conservative Jews feel that they are under attack because too many people (on the left and the right) conflate supporting Israel with being Jewish. Jews support Israel. Israel is bad. Therefore, Jews are bad. Two perspectives, two forms of identity conflation, two distortions of reality. The phenomena are mirror images of each other; both are based on the same faulty logic. But too many conservative Jews reject one side of the equation and embrace the other.
So where does this leave me? Sad mostly. Historically, Jewish people across the globe have been victims of prejudice, oppression, systematic violence, unfathomable cruelty. For many of us, this history makes the oppression, systematic violence, and unfathomable cruelty displayed by the current Israeli regime that much harder to stomach. Seeing even a minority of American Jews justify these actions and attack any who would oppose them with such venom and such myopia hurts my heart. Given all that we have endured as a people, we ought to know better. At the very least we should be able to disagree without casting aspersions on one another and challenging the depths of our Jewishness and our commitment to the welfare of our people.
I wish all of you a good weekend, and a safe, enjoyable Halloween.
We spent Alex’s birthday in several spots. We got up early to hike Calf Creek Falls trail, through beautiful desert scrub amid dramatic stone cliffs. The falls themselves, a cascading white ribbon falling against mineral-stained stone walls, were amazing. From there, we went down a dirt road — Burr Trail — that was filled with small slot canyons to explore. And we finished the day in an area called the Devil’s Garden, a collection of stunning rock formations about 25 miles down another bumpy track called Hole in the Rock Road. We finished the day with instant pad Thai at our campsite, and a magnificent night sky.
Our week together meant the world to me. I wasn’t sure if Alex felt the same way, but we certainly had tons of fun and got along beautifully. I don’t remember specific conversations, but in a way I think that speaks to the naturalness of our interactions, the ease of our time together. And years later, when we were in Brooklyn with her during her final weeks, I saw that she had the hiking map from Calf Creek Falls on the wall beside her bed, and the rock we had found for her at a rock shop outside of Bryce, sitting on a shelf above her pillow.
The publishers also squeezed out a lot of editors, feeling that editing was a luxury, and an expensive one at that. “Look at all those self-published titles selling online,” they said. “They’re not edited, and their readers don’t seem to care. Why should we spend so much when most readers just aren’t that discerning?” My editor at the start of my career was, to put it mildly, a problematic character. He was difficult to work with, unreliable, and slow. And eventually, he was fired for cause. And yet, I learned a ton from him. He taught me about the business. He taught me to be a much, much better writer, simply by working with me to improve my craft. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I owe much of my career to his peculiar brand of wisdom. Young writers need that sort of mentorship. And in today’s world, few of them get it.
That brings me to the larger point of this post. Last year, at ConCarolinas, I was given the Polaris Award, in large part for the mentoring of young writers I have done, and continue to do. Right now, I have no fewer than half a dozen writers who consider me a mentor. Over the course of my career, that number is far, far higher. I benefited from the wisdom of many established authors when first I began my career. I have always felt that it was my duty, and also my privilege, to offer the same guidance to those coming up after me. I love mentoring.
And actually, we had previously — as in just a couple of weeks ago — had to replace our hot water heater. Hence, you might say that the septic issues were our number two problem….
Yes, my hiatus from writing was a byproduct of my grieving process. My return to writing is not an indication that my grief is spent. It never will be. I will grieve my darling Alex for the rest of my life. As I’ve said before, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Grief is an expression of love, and my love for her was limitless. But she wouldn’t want to be the reason I stopped writing forever, any more than she’d want me to give up on happiness or love or life because she’s gone.
Down Cemetery Road, Apple (Season 1) — A taut, twisty, dark thriller starring Ruth Wilson, Emma Thompson, Fehinti Balogun, and Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, this is our new favorite show. Thompson and Balogun really stand out, but all the performances are terrific. Again, wonderful writing makes the show. There is humor and also some very graphic violence. The story, which involves intrigue deep in the British security state, has kept us utterly rapt. The last episode of Season 1 drops on Wednesday, and we will be holding our breath until then. Sooooo good. 4.5 stars out of 5.
