Tag Archives: professionalism

Blogging, D.B. Jackson, David B. Coe, Writing

Professional Wednesday: What Matters Professionally? Part III — Appearances

Continuing my series of posts about “what matters” in the realm of professional publishing, I thought I would focus today on what matters during our public appearances. Attending conventions and writers’ conferences and workshops is an important part of being a professional. At a time when it’s tougher than ever to sell books, there is no substitute for interacting with fans and hand-selling our novels and stories. For better or worse, once we’re published and we start to gain a readership, we become public figures, and that can be a tricky role at first.

Some of the things that matter are really common sense. Others are a bit less intuitive. Let’s walk through a few of them.

The most important thing we can do as professionals is comport ourselves with dignity, with courtesy, and with sensitivity. Let me illustrate what I mean with a counter-example. Last year, on the final day of one of the conventions I attended, I sat on a panel with a group of fellow writers. Our panel moderator walked in late, and then, as they sat down, proceeded to tell an ugly, homophobic joke. I kid you not. It was like this asshole had been transported from the 1980s — their joke was so out of line, so contrary to the spirit of the convention and our genre, I could hardly believe it. Sadly, a few people in the audience laughed. Most of us — audience and panelists alike — offered no response at all; the atmosphere in the room was heavy and awkward for the next hour.

Now, it goes without saying that none of us should do what this person did. But they also shouldn’t do what I did, which was to sit there, so shocked by the inappropriateness of the moderator’s behavior, that I didn’t speak up and tell the person off. I should have. I feel terrible that I didn’t. If even one person in the room was personally offended — or worse, made to feel less than they are — then I failed them, as did my fellow panelists. (I did report the person to the convention, and hopefully this person will comport themselves differently going forward.)

What matters more than anything as a professional at a convention or other event, I would argue, is doing what we can to create a safe, healthy, informative environment for attendees and for our fellow professionals. We do that by being open to questions from and conversations with fans. We do that by bringing our best to each panel or discussion in which we participate — being engaged and energetic, speaking to the subject, sharing our enthusiasm and passion. We do that by being respectful of our audiences in all their diversity and individuality. Guys, we do that by being respectful of those with whom we interact, by not speaking over people, by not dominating discussions — in short, by not being total guys. If you take away nothing else from this post, keep these things in mind.

Some people who attend cons as professionals dress in a certain way. I know some pros who love to cosplay and they bring elaborate costumes to every event. I know other pros who wear nice jeans or even dress pants, and neat shirts. I know a very few pros who dress office casual. And I know pros who wear jeans and T-shirts. Honestly, this is a “doesn’t matter” thing to me. The answer to “how should I dress?” really ought to be, “however you’re most comfortable.” I tend to wear nice jeans and a plain t-shirt or button down. I don’t dress up, but I also don’t want to look like I don’t care. That’s what works for me. But as I say, in my view, there is no right or wrong here.

When I attend conventions, I arrive on time to my panels and readings and such, and I go to any sort of convention-wide event that the convention indicates to me they want me to attend. Some conventions don’t care if pros attend the opening ceremony, for instance. Some care a great deal. I make certain I know which is which for each convention. I make myself available in between panels, and, if it seems appropriate, will put in appearances in the con suite or other such venue. As I pro, I am there on someone else’s dime, and I am aware at all times that the attending fans have paid to be there, have, in effect, paid to see me and to have me there.

But I also know that I can’t over-extend myself. Attending a convention as a pro means being “on” during our public time, and that takes energy. We need to take care of ourselves by retreating to our rooms now and then, by allowing ourselves to unwind with professional friends for meals or coffees or beers. And we must also be able to say, politely but firmly, “I would love to chat with you — let’s set up a time — but right now I am having a private conversation with X.” Conventions are work. I love them, but they are work. They are also opportunities to connect with our professional colleagues, to network with them, and to talk shop. Those things matter as much as our public responsibilities, and we have to allow ourselves to take advantage of those opportunities.

In short, when I attend events in my professional capacity, I do what I can to be a good person, to be available, but also to take care of myself by carving out down-time and time with the people I care about and want or need to see.

I hope that’s helpful as you attend your professional events.

Keep writing!

Blogging, D.B. Jackson, David B. Coe

Monday Musings: What Matters? Part III — People and Relationships

We lost my older brother a bit over five years ago, and, as you might expect, in the aftermath of his death, my emotions were roiled and at times conflicted. Among other things, I was angry with him. Deeply, almost cripplingly angry. Why? Because in his youth he engaged in a lot of self-destructive behavior, and one could draw a clear line from his poor choices early in life to the cause of his death at too young an age.

Bill and I were very close, despite the nearly fifteen years between us. When I was young, I worshipped him. Later, I saw his flaws more clearly, but I still adored him. His death clobbered me. I was devastated and for a while that devastation manifested, in part, as rage — at the loss, at the injustice, and, yes, at what I perceived as the needlessness of it all. At the same time, though, I didn’t want to hold on to the anger. I wanted to grieve for him properly, without the resentment. And I got there eventually. But it took years, and several long, painful conversations with my therapist.

In writing my “what matters” posts over the past couple of weeks, I have thought about this particular post a good deal. We may devote a good deal of our time to work, but most of us expend the bulk of our emotional energy — another finite personal resource — on our relationships with friends, family members, and romantic partners, as well as with work colleagues.

In my first post of the new year, I wrote about a different set of anger issues that I have been trying to control in recent months. I honestly can’t discuss these publicly, but suffice it to say I know this anger is no more productive for me than was the anger I directed at my brother. In my view, anger is not always a negative emotion. Righteous anger can empower and even inspire. But simmering resentments tend to wear on us and drain us.

In the past couple of years, I have tried a different tactic — although clearly from what I’ve written here, I am still figuring all of this out. In my professional dealings, when I encounter people who are dishonest, disrespectful, disruptive, I cut them out of my life. It’s that simple. I have no patience anymore for the kind of people I’m referencing here. (And some of them, if they’re reading this, may well recognize themselves.)

This is harder to do in our personal lives. But often it’s every bit as necessary. Toxic interactions, abusive friends and family, interactions that leave us feeling badly about ourselves — no one needs this.

I have started this post with the negative, and that may have been a mistake. Because the truth is, personal relationships mean more to me than anything, beginning with my marriage and my relationships with my daughters. I love my extended family, I have many years-long friendships that I treasure deeply, and I am fortunate to have a number of professional friends and colleagues whom I respect and enjoy seeing at conventions and other events. And just as negative interactions leach away my emotional energy, these positive ones boost it. I know this, and no doubt you know it in your life as well. It’s intuitive. And yet, so many of us continue to engage with people who suck more out of our lives than they put into them.

As I discussed last week, we have limited time for all the things we want and need to do, day to day and week to week. Spending time with the people we love, the people we enjoy seeing, the people whose company enhances our lives — nothing matters more, in my view. But I would also say it’s very nearly as important to avoid those encounters that rob us of joy, of energy, of confidence. Sometimes they can’t be avoided. We can choose our friends, the saying goes; we can’t choose our family. And, I would add, we can’t choose our friends’ friends. Nor can many of us choose our co-workers and the people we interact with in parts of our lives over which we have less control.

We do have a choice, though, as to how we engage with the people around us. What matters, it seems to me, is continuing to feed the relationships that nourish us in return, and to set strict boundaries around those that don’t. As I say, we can’t avoid entirely the people who aren’t good to us or for us. But we can keep them at arm’s length. And, on those occasions when we have to interact at greater length or in greater depth than we would like, we can remind ourselves at every opportunity of our own worth, and of the histories that let us know a given person can’t be relied upon or shouldn’t be trusted.

I should add here that I don’t want my glib solutions to minimize the dangers of a truly abusive relationship. Extricating oneself from such situations is far more complex and difficult than I have made all of this sound. There are excellent resources available for those who find themselves in such circumstances, and if you are in an abusive relationship, please, please, please seek professional help.

We have limited time. We have limited emotional energy. We deserve to have as much time as possible with the people we love and who love us back for who we are. I believe devoting time and energy to those relationships should be at the very top of the list of things that matter in our lives.

Have a wonderful week.

Blogging, D.B. Jackson, David B. Coe, editing, Writing, Zombies Need Brains

Professional Wednesday: A Rant About Rejections and Quitting

Anthologies from Zombies Need BrainsAs many of you know, I am once again co-editing an anthology for Zombies Need Brains, Joshua Palmatier’s speculative fiction imprint. This is my fourth year as a co-editor, and each year Joshua follows pretty much the same approach to publishing his themed anthologies. Each collection has about fourteen story slots. He chooses a set of eight or so anchor authors for each volume and runs a Kickstarter to fund all the anthologies, using those anchor author names to attract support for the projects. Once the anthologies have funded (and Joshua has a remarkable success rate with his Kickstarters) he throws open the anthologies for general submissions, having reserved six story slots in each collection for non-anchor stories. He pays professional rates for the stories, and he puts out sleek, well-curated, well-edited books.

This year the three anthologies are Shattering the Glass Slipper, Brave New Worlds, and my anthology, Noir. Joshua is co-editing only one of the anthologies, a bit of a change from past years when he has nearly killed himself editing two or even all three of the books. We get literally hundreds of submissions for each anthology, making the selection of six (or five or seven) stories incredibly difficult.

As the publisher, Joshua takes it upon himself to send out acceptance letters and also rejections. Of course, he also handles the contracts and payments. His is a somewhat thankless job.

Most years, the rejection letters are met with either silence from the rejected authors, or, on occasion, with a “Thanks for considering me, maybe next time” note in return. This year was much the same. Except for one note he received:

In it the author said they had decided that if their story was rejected this time around, they would give up on submitting anywhere. And then they congratulated Joshua for killing their nascent writing career.

This is so wrong on so many levels, I hardly know where to begin.

First of all, Joshua is as nice a person as you could ever hope to meet. He doesn’t deserve this shit from anyone, much less a thin-skinned writer wannabe who doesn’t know anything about writing or the publishing business. (More on that in a moment)

I should also say that Joshua is a class act. He told his editors about the letter, but he didn’t tell us the author’s name or which anthology the story had been submitted to. I have no idea if I read the story. I do know there is a good chance Joshua had nothing to do with the story’s rejection. Even if the story in question was submitted to the anthology he’s co-editing, the rejection would have been a joint decision between Joshua and his editing partner. Mathematically speaking, it’s more likely that another pair of editors rejected the story. Joshua was simply delivering the bad news in his capacity as publisher.

But in a way, that ignores the galaxy of larger issues raised by this note. None of us editors is responsible for killing this person’s writing career. The author of the story is solely responsible for that. They are the one who chose to base their writing future on the fate of one story. They are the one who decided that one more rejection would be enough to make them give up. This was not a career murder. It was literary suicide.

A moment ago I called this person “a thin-skinned writer wannabe who doesn’t know anything about writing or the publishing business.” Maybe that sounds harsh. Too bad.

Writing is hard. Rejections are part of the business. I have been writing for more than a quarter century. I’ve published more than twenty-five novels and at least that many short stories. I have won awards, been a convention guest of honor multiple times, had fabulous reviews. And I still have my work rejected all the time. It. Is. Part. Of. The. Business. Yes, rejections suck. And upon receiving one I give myself a bit of time to be upset, angry, sad, whatever. An hour, maybe two. If it’s a big project and a publisher I really wanted to work with, I’ll give it a day. Then I pull up my big-boy panties and get back to work.

That’s what professional writers do. Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re a writer. You’ve been rejected. You’re still working. Good on you. That’s what you’re supposed to do.

Writing is not for the thin-skinned. Chances are, if a writer can’t take rejection, they can’t take criticism either. And if they can’t take criticism, they can’t work with an editor, which means they have no business being a writer in the first place.

The author of that obnoxious note has obviously not enjoyed much success as a writer. It’s pretty clear that this was the culmination of a string of rejections. I’m sorry for them. Truly. As I say, rejections suck and a bunch of them can be discouraging. And I can even see where, if these rejections have been spread over a span of several years, that could be enough to make this person give up. It’s almost enough to make me sympathetic. Almost. Because then we come back to the part where this person blames Joshua for ending their career.

Look, writing is not for everyone. Maybe you’re reading this having just been rejected yourself. Maybe you’re thinking of getting out of the business as well. I would say to you two things. First, try to remember that a rejection is not always a final judgment. Sometimes it’s a step in a creative negotiation, an indication that your story just needs a bit more work, a bit more polish, a tweak of a character or plot thread. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the quality of your story and everything to do with the other stories in the anthology and the particular slot in the collection the editors wish to fill.

And second, always remember that your reaction to rejection is a choice. You can choose to give up. You can choose to take it personally and flounce away. Or you can choose to see it as a challenge to improve your submission, or write a stronger tale next time around.

Whatever you choose, remember this: No one can make you quit but you.

Keep writing. Or don’t. But take responsibility for that choice.